Online Dating from A to Z: Minding the Money

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge. This month I’ll be working my way through the alphabet, one day at a time, on the subject of Online Dating. If you’ve never visited my blog before, I’m happy you’re here! Be sure to check out my previous A to Z Challenge posts and the books that were inspired by them for more alphabetical fun.

M is for Money, Honey!

Who handles the money on a date, and does it really matter?

Most definitely!

While many of us would like to believe that men and women have achieved equality in the modern world, the sad truth is that monetary issues still separate us. Indeed, the traditional definition of feminism includes equal pay for women – something American society in 2018 still has yet to achieve.

I’ll spare you the dull details by offering this infographic from the Economic Policy Institute instead of a full-blown essay on the subject of the gender pay gap, but suffice to say that men still typically make more money than women, and as a result, men are often expected to pay a woman’s way on a date.

Not only is this pay gap problematic for couples without a lot of money to spend on lavish dates, but it can also lead to icky, sticky situations where men feel entitled to women’s bodies because they believe they have paid for their company for the evening. Gross.

To eliminate these sexist and classist expectations from your dates, I highly recommend splitting the bill. Men and women can each pay for their own meals, movie tickets, and more, instead of relying on their would-be suitors, and thus maintain healthy boundaries until the relationship has progressed enough to discuss the issue further.

Far from being unromantic, splitting bills can take a lot of the pressure off of both parties, and it can even open up the discussion concerning your monetary status or concerns. Being able to tell your date that you enjoy their company, but simply don’t have a lot of money to spend on fancy restaurants and outings, can spur creative ideas for free and inexpensive dates if they are eager to continue seeing you. And if money proves problematic for them, you’ll know up front what kind of person you’re dealing with.

Given the fact that 48% of couples in serious relationships fight most frequently about money, it may not be the sexiest subject, but it’s definitely an important one to consider when it comes to love and dating.

Some encouraging money-related statistics:

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  • According to a TD Bank survey, 74% of millennial couples talk about money weekly.
  • According to an Ameriprise study, when married couples fight over money, “it often has to do with major purchases and children-related conversations, such as how much to spend on their kids.” However, 82% of couples are able to resolve these kinds of disagreements.
  • A Cashelorette study found that 33% of millennials prefer to split the bill (compared to 17% of Gen Xers).


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  • Red

    When dating, I was always prepared to pay my own way – it’s just practical – but when my now-husband paid for our first date, it just showed me that he thought I was special and should be treated that way. Maybe that’s old-fashioned.