Online Dating from A to Z: Kids

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge. This month I’ll be working my way through the alphabet, one day at a time, on the subject of Online Dating. If you’ve never visited my blog before, I’m happy you’re here! Be sure to check out my previous A to Z Challenge posts and the books that were inspired by them for more alphabetical fun.

K is for Kids – because they always complicate things, including dating.

If you have kids, should you disclose this on your dating profile?

It’s a bit of a dilemma, isn’t it? On the one hand, why bring them unnecessarily into the equation before you’ve even met this person? On the other hand, some people will never get involved with a person who has kids, and it’s not really fair to trick them into thinking you’re totally unattached if you’re really not.

Of course, I don’t have any kids, and don’t plan to, so I’m not exactly the best person to decide about what your strategy should be.

To settle this question, I will defer to She Does the City‘s Sarah Sahagian, whose “Ask A Child-Free Person” column says that if you’re just looking for hookups, it’s fine not to disclose, and if you’re looking for a deeper commitment, definitely do not bring this up any later than a third date.

Dana Norris of Role Reboot reiterates this advice, noting that it’s important to be honest in your dating profile, no matter what your status, including divorces and kids so that people know what they’re getting into.

Regardless of your parental status, I would definitely not advise discussion about how many kids you do (or don’t) want on a first date. I once went out with a guy who started talking about marriage after about 10 minutes, and despite my telling him I never planned to get married, had no interest in marriage, never visualized my wedding dress, and did not want to discuss the matter further with him, he would not let it go! I’ve heard these types of discussions are more typically sprung on men by women, but no matter what your gender, talking about getting hitched to someone you’ve just met is never a good idea.