Online Dating from A to Z: Jobs

Welcome to the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge. This month I’ll be working my way through the alphabet, one day at a time, on the subject of Online Dating. If you’ve never visited my blog before, I’m happy you’re here! Be sure to check out my previous A to Z Challenge posts and the books that were inspired by them for more alphabetical fun.

J is for Jobs.

Naturally, one of the first things you’ll want to ask your prospective date is “What do you do for a living?”

It’s almost a reflex. People want to know what you spend most of your day doing, and finding out what someone’s job is can often provide good insight into their personality and values.

Of course, not all jobs are created equal. Some people are just working a day job to pay the bills. Others are pursuing a genuine career or vocation, something that they’ve worked hard to attain, and that they’d like to keep doing for the rest of their lives. Still others might be between jobs. And then there are folks who don’t have any job at all, from students to trust fund kids to the perpetually unemployed.

What does your job really say about you?

And are first impressions always correct?

For me, the most important thing to find out when asking someone about their job is not the type of job itself, but the way the person explains their work to me. For those who are too evasive, red flags get raised. I once went out with a guy who seemed to change the subject every time work came up. I had asked him what he did for a living, and he’d told me he was a consultant… but consultant for what? I could never get a straight answer out of him, and at first it didn’t really matter, but as time went by it just seemed weirder and weirder that he never talked about work or referenced it in any way, except to say things like “I’ll be off work at 6… want to grab a bite to eat?”

My mind started spinning scenarios with decidedly disturbing angles. Was he a drug dealer? A pimp? A international jewel thief? An undercover agent?

The fact that he never talked about any friends or family members by name was also disconcerting. Was he undercover or just a total loner? Was he hiding me from the people in his life, and if so, why?

The more I thought about it, the more it bothered me. The more I tried to bring these subjects up, the more he would brush them off as if I were being paranoid.

Mystery can be sexy, but too much mystery can be a deal-breaker. If you won’t even tell your date what field you work in, that’s just strange. It seems like you’re hiding something, and not in a good way. This is exactly why spies have cover stories. At least their boring accounting jobs will make curious folks quit asking questions!