Is it #AprilFools already? People practice their standup comedy routines on me

Today has been a weird day. I feel like I’ve accomplished nothing but doing my laundry – which was necessary, but not necessarily fulfilling.

People have also, apparently, been practicing their standup comedy routines on me.

Two examples…

Comedy Routine #1

UPS delivered a package. I signed for it. They went on their merry way. Then I got an email from Amazon saying the book I’d ordered could not be delivered by UPS, because my address was wrong.

Huh? I order stuff from Amazon (like the aforementioned package I just signed for – which was a pack of protein shakes, in case you were wondering) all the time. There’s never been a problem with my address. I’ve been living in the same place for at least two years now.

I look up the order at Amazon. Here’s what I see:


That’s right… UPS tried to deliver my package to Chula Vista. A city that is NOT San Diego. A city that is also NOT Alpine, which is where I wanted this book delivered.

Here’s a map, for those of you who don’t live in San Diego:

Screen Shot 2016-03-25 at 5.21.57 PM

I have no idea why UPS decided that “Alpine” and “Chula Vista” were interchangeable cities when they clearly are nowhere near each other on a map or in the dictionary.

So I hopped online with Amazon Customer Service, and they told UPS to try delivering the package to the right city.

While I was out grabbing my laundry from the dryer, I got a phone call. Listening to the voicemail, it was UPS, telling me that the driver had gone home for the day, but I could come pick up the package in Chula Vista.

Wait. Am I missing something? UPS delivered the package to the wrong city, and now they want me to come pick it up??

Like I said, someone must be getting their April Fools prank-on a little early, because this makes no sense. I supplied you with the correct address. You failed to deliver my package to the correct address. And now you want me to pick it up in a city I have no reason to visit, even though YOU are the delivery service?

I think not.

Supposedly this book will be delivered to me on Monday. We’ll see.

On the plus side, UPS customer service agents are VERY responsive when you tweet about their company! They immediately apologized for my inconvenience, and said to email them the tracking number so they could get things sorted. Thanks, UPS. Just double-check the city when delivering packages, please. (This particular package also came from Ontario, CA – a city that is surely rife with misdelivered packages, given possible confusion between Ontario, Canada and Ontario, California.)

Comedy Routine #2

The second incident of standup comedy comes from a nearby casino. I had recently emailed them to ask if they had any meeting rooms to accommodate my Nonfiction Authors Association monthly meetings. We’re usually about 10 people, and I’m looking for a place I can host events on Saturday afternoons, as my current venue is typically booked then.

Someone from Viejas Casino just replied to my email as follows:

Good afternoon Ms. Roberts,

Thank you for your interest in Viejas Casino & Resort for your monthly meetings! We do have two board rooms that can accommodate up to 18 people each and they rent for $1,000.00++ per day for a day meeting.

Please let me know if you have any questions or would like me to reserve a date for you.

I have no idea what the “++” might refer to (snacks? beverages? free chips for Blackjack?), but the fact that they think a tiny group like mine is going to shell out a thousand bucks A MONTH to book their boardroom is totally bonkers.

And, frankly, if that’s how much you charge to rent a boardroom, you should list that on your website instead of making me email people who are clearly living on another planet.

Like I said, it’s been a weird day.

How’s your day been going?

One Comment

  • Brendan

    I lost half a tooth. I almost caught it, but it landed on the sidewalk, so I left it.

    Anyway, I had some horrible experiences with the San Diego UPS, so now I don’t deal with them.