101 ways to kill someone in a convent

Okay, so I actually only managed to come up with 16 (plus a few I can’t mention, because they’re already in play and I wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise), but here are some of the ways I’ve contemplated killing the characters in my NaNo novel, The Case of the Cunning Linguist, which is set in and around Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris:

  • Choking on communion wafers
  • Poisoned by communion wine
  • Stabbed with crucifix
  • Burned with holy water (only works for vampires or other demons)
  • Struck by god’s wrath (i.e. lightning) during a storm
  • Strangled by a rosary
  • Whipped to death (self flagellation, or as punishment by another)
  • Falling from a bell tower
  • Crushed beneath pipe organ pipes
  • Cleaved in two by stained glass windows breaking out
  • Drugged by a fellow priest or nun for committing a Deadly Sin
  • Scorched by the flames of all those votive candles
  • Bashed over the head with the altar’s ornate gold-encrusted Bible
  • Drowned in a baptismal fount
  • Lead poisoning over years of sipping too much wine from the old-school chalices
  • Nailed to the cross in a disturbingly realistic reenactment of the Stations of the Cross

Got another bright idea for deaths that would be unique to a convent or church? Let me know in the comments!