Titles: How Not to Suck

I jokingly state on my Facebook page that I took an MFA course entitled “Titles: How Not To Suck.” If such a course actually existed, it would be marvelous. Think of how many more copies your brilliant book would sell with a title like “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”!

Honestly, how many times have you written a story, only to find yourself stumped by what to name it? Personally, I’ve been there many times. After all, how can one best describe what the reader will get from your work, without giving it all away up front?

There’s an art (and probably a science) to good titles. I will now share with you a few tips on how to strike upon the best one, while avoiding the common pitfalls of Truly Terrible Titles.

1. First thought, worst thought: The first thing that pops into your head is probably the last thing you want anyone connecting with your story. It’s the cliché phrase, the goofy line, the thing you think is brilliant but readers won’t give a damn about. Let you brain think its first thought. Discard it. Keep on brainstorming. Write down about 15 ideas and let them simmer. Then, pick the best of the bunch.
2. One word: SUCK: Personally, I find most one-word titles off-putting. Maybe it’s because they’re too simplistic. Maybe it’s because I named my extremely fan-fic college screenplay about David Duchovny’s search for love after a semi-obscure word I found in the dictionary in order to go with the one-word rule? Who knows, but I usually give one-word titles the kiss of death. Let’s keep the intimacy going and avoid the suck; give your titles two or more words to develop your concept.
3. Boring = death: Let’s face it: if your title completely encompasses all your story is about, you are being boring. And boring the reader equals death. Make it mysterious; mystery is sexy!
4. Punchline: Some titles are punny. I happen to love puns, so that can work in your favor. Some editors hate puns, so that can work against you, too. But what if your title is the punchline to the joke? The concluding sentence that wraps it all up? This is usually a bad idea, because it means the reader will only be able to read your story once before they’re in on the joke and, thus, disenchanted by your title—and the rest of your story. Keep ’em guessing.

The common theme of the Truly Terrible Title is a lack of imagination. You’re a writer; you’re paid for your creativity. So when you give your piece an unimaginative title, you’re reflecting poorly not only on your own work, but on writers in general. Do us proud: give your title some thought! Come up with something insightful, creative, intriguing, curious, thought-provoking, or at the bare minimum more than one word.

Think Fall Out Boy: those lovable scamps ripped off great lines from famous films and named their songs after them, no matter how nonsensical (i.e. “{Coffee’s For Closers}“—why the mysterious parentheses, and how does this song in any way relate to coffee or the infamous line in Glengarry Glen Ross?) or wordy (i.e. “I’m Like a Lawyer with the Way I’m Always Trying to Get You Off {Me & You}”). Take a page from the Fall Out Boy school of titles, if all else fails, and get post-postmodern.

Or you can leave it all up to computer algorithms and try the Fiction Alley Title Generator.

Got a trick or tip for authors struggling to come up with halfway decent titles? Help a writer out and share it in the comments!