Top Five T-shirts About Writing

I’m waiting for a guy to come and fix my clogged bathroom drains. Again. This is the story of my life, and I’d really like it to stop, but since I can’t concentrate (knowing that whenever I do get started on something, he will ring the doorbell and interrupt my work with a lot of banging), I thought I would post a round-up of writing-related t-shirts. Consider this your inspiration for the day. Or just another round of procrastination from your 500 Words A Day Writing Challenge.

“Four Things You Should Never Say to a Writer” shirt (by Inkygirl):

I would also add to this list, “Oh, you’re working on a novel, eh? Can I read it?” and “You write about sex, eh? Let’s go do some ‘research’ together!” (The answers to both now, and forever, are “no” and “hell no.” Unless you are my husband.)

NaNoWriMo‘s 10th anniversary “Author” shirt:

I’m a big fan of this one, and like to wear it when I’m in need of literary inspiration. Way better than a thinking cap, particularly in the heat of summer. If it smells funny, you know it’s been on repeat in my wardrobe for long writing hauls.

“Shake” shirt by Sharing Machine:

Were truer words ever written… or read off a t-shirt? Shakespeare needs money for his rent, sucka, so cough up! Wear this shirt when dealing with editors who haven’t paid you, or when the landlord comes prowling for your monthly check.

Dorothy Parker t-shirt by Words + Paper:

This one is particularly apropos, as I was reading Ms. Parker’s O. Henry Award-winning short story, “Big Blonde,” over breakfast this morning. Cheerios, coffee and DP: truly, the breakfast of champions.

“Plot, It Builds Character” tee, from Threadless:

A subtle tee that’ll help you remember how to write when you’re making pitiful rookie mistakes. I’m also a fan of their “Movies: Ruining the Book Since 1920” tee, since I’m crazy like that.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Fyodor Dostoyevsky “O Brother Where Art Thou?” shirt from Tres Normale:

Because Dostoyevsky wrote The Brothers Karamazov, get it? Yeah, since only a handful of people probably get this one, it only rates an honourable mention. But for those that do, it’s pretty cute. I think their Milton tee would also be a lot better if the caption read “Get lost,” but what do I know?

I would also like to nominate these Hunter S. Thompson t-shirts for an honorable mention, because while I think that some of them are pretty cool (I particularly like the “We can’t stop here; this is bat country!” shirt), I also get the impression that ol’ Hunter S. would’ve been pretty horrified by his visage—and his words—appearing on a cheap cotton shirt. Particularly one that’s been made by Café Press, which (based on personal experience) produces a very poor-quality product. I’m also pretty sure that this type of thing is illegal, as it infringes upon a variety of copyrights (and yet has the nerve to claim copyright on these designs!), so I’m kind of hoping this site will go out of business. Of course, there’s no contact info listed anywhere, so who knows who’s actually running this show? Maybe it’s Thompson’s estate, playing a practical joke on us all.