Tag Archives: The Well-Fed Writer

Copywriting: J. Peterman’s style

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I recently approached a previous client regarding the possibility of more copywriting work, emboldened by The Well-Fed Writer’s claims that cold calling works, but “lukewarm calling” is often more lucrative. The editor I queried wrote back to ask if I had any experience writing in the style of the inimitable J. Peterman.

I promptly went to the J. Peterman website, perused some of their copy, and set to work spinning a few Peterman-esque short tales of my own that might work for the client’s website, using some of their current merchandise as inspiration.

I also posted on Twitter about it, saying “One potential employer I contacted wants copy in the form of the J. Peterman catalogue. I’ve been browsing the monocle: http://bit.ly/65wW0l.” (Seriously, who can pass up a real, honest-to-goodness monocle?!)

J. Peterman is, naturally, on Twitter, and responded accordingly:

Unfortunately, I’m still in suspense myself. But I promise to let you all know if I do end up landing any work of this type, as I will clearly be shadowing the footsteps of genius.

And, of course, watching all of the old Seinfeld episodes with Peterman in them to serve as a secondary source of inspiration. Despite the show’s ribbing, they did manage to get Peterman’s sometimes overblown tone down, emphasizing the fine line between creative copy and impenetrably ridiculous wordsmithing (see, for example, the episode entitled “The Foundation,” where Elaine takes over for Peterman and puts the “urban sombrero” on the cover of the catalogue). Still, the real J. Peterman’s descriptions do work well: if you’ve ever read through the catalogue, you’ll find yourself agreeing with the company’s Twitter summary of what they do: “People want things that are hard to find. Things that have romance, but a factual romance, about them.”

In short, J. Peterman’s style is about both romantic product descriptions and the whiff of exclusion. Not everyone can afford the items for sale in the catalogue, and that’s what gives them an edge. It’s this idea that the product you are buying is, if not one-of-a-kind, then at least one-of-very-few. It’s that rarity that puts the item in demand, and the copywriter’s sexy description helps nudge the customer’s hand toward the “buy now” button. It’s an elegant form of salesmanship, and one that clearly gets results, as the company has been thriving since 1987.

It also makes for a great writing exercise, as demonstrated by this article in Writing Fix, “A Six-Trait Writing Lesson That Uses the J. Peterman Catalogue.” (Seriously, try it. You’ll be waxing lyrical in no time!)

In the meantime, if anyone would care to gift me with one of Peterman’s (discounted) Get Around Vespa Jackets, I promise to use this inspiration toward writing brilliant copy for the sender of said inspiration. Hey, J. Peterman: need any new writers for your site? Will work for designer duds*!

*Fee negotiable

Suite101 and Demand Studios: Why content mills aren’t worth the effort

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Since many people have been writing to me lately asking for my take on the Suite101/Demand Studios types of writing scams and content mills out there, I just wanted to refer everyone back to my original post on the subject, as the final paragraph links to several articles on Writers Weekly which are quite informative and feature real users (i.e. people who’ve worked for these sites) who have given their opinions about these specific content mills and their pay rates.

You should also root around at Writers Weekly to find Angela Hoy’s various articles on each individual company’s policies (including Demand Studios, Suite101, Examiner.com and others), pay rates and scams, as they all feature comments from people who have worked for these sites, giving their informed opinions. There are always people on each side of the issue, pro and con, so they’re fairly well-balanced articles even though Angela thinks they’re all scumbags (and I would have to agree with her).

Also, don’t miss the I Was Sucked into Content Mill Writing article by Anonymous, as it’s a good general take on the type of “work” you will find yourself doing, the feelings you will be feeling, and the right way to put a stop to being taken advantage of as a professional writer.

My basic opinion of these places is that if you’re taking content from writers but aren’t paying them, and are trying to lead them to believe that you WILL be paying them, you’re a scumbag. You’ve started a company that preys on writers, hoping to turn a profit. This is theft of information, ideas and time. Writers, real writers who write copy for a living, are paid for their time as well as their end products. So anyone who offers you payment at some unspecified date in the future, in the form of “royalties” or “percentages” or anything that sounds like “if you have to get a million people to click on the article to make one cent per click and see some profit,” you should run screaming. This is not a job, this is a scam. Period. Suite101 is this type of a scam.

Demand Studios is not this type of a scam, but they are STILL not worth working for, no matter how you slice it. They lay out in advance the amount of money you can expect to make (i.e. $5 to $20 per article), but considering all the research involved, as well as the time spent writing and editing, this is a paltry sum of money. Again, professional copywriters don’t work for these places, because the pay rate is insulting, and if you want proof just ask The Well-Fed Writer (who makes $50,000 a year or more, writing for places that respect the work that he does).

If you just need the money, you should look for another type of job and write what you want to write on the side. Even crappy service industry jobs like waiting tables or slinging coffee will net you more income than Demand Studios. Period. I’ve “worked” for Demand Studios in the past, and it honestly wasn’t worth the effort. You won’t even get good quality clips you can use to net other jobs. Don’t bother.

All that being said, people always want to make up their own minds. So no matter how many times I say “Don’t do it! It’s a scam! It’s not worth it!” there will always be some who want to see for themselves, or try to beat the system. If you want to do that, by all means go ahead, but my honest advice is DON’T DO IT. It’s a scam. And really, it’s not worth your time, your talent, and your self-worth.