Sexy writing workshop and haiku

In addition to reading being sexy, as detailed in yesterday’s post, writing is also super sexy. Which is why I’m taking it to the sexiest level possible and teaching a workshop about writing sexy stories! My “Saucy Smut” class is happening this Friday, October 9 at 6:30PM at Joy Toyz (4200 St-Laurent, suite 415), and will feature tips and tricks for anyone interested in learning how to get started writing erotica. This is for people who are purely in it for pleasure, as well as those looking to turn it into a career. The class itself is one night only, and costs $35 to attend ($30 if you’re a student).

In case you’re wondering what qualifies me to teach this class, please feel free to read some of my erotica at Black Heart Magazine, or online at Oysters & Chocolate, where I’m currently creating dirty astrology pieces for every sign of the zodiac. This month’s installment is Libra.

If you’ve ever wanted to write erotica, but wondered how to begin, c’mon out to Joy Toyz and find out! I promise to be gentle. You’ll also get extra credit if you’re read Inga Muscio’s fabulous book, Cunt, as I mentioned in this week’s Vixen. This extra credit may or may not come in candy form, as Halloween is fast approaching, and everybody loves sweet things.

And now, on to today’s sexy haiku, and the image that inspired it:

Photo by Ask The Geek

Photo by Ask The Geek

woman as object:
full lips, luscious bosom,
embracing herself

Oh, and in case you were wondering? That’s not me in the photo, although Ask The Geek has taken photos of me before. Maybe I’ll use them as inspiration in a future post when I’m feeling particularly vain!

P.S. A friend pointed out that my haiku today doesn’t follow the typical 5–7-5 format. This is true, but according to the definitions offered by the Haiku Society of America, I don’t think any of my haiku thus far actually qualify because they’re not about nature or natural imagery. Since I have never written about nature, nor do I intend to embrace this stuffily traditional definition of haiku, you could argue that I either write experimental or non-traditional haiku, or perhaps that I write senryu, which are “poem[s], structurally similar to haiku, that highlight the foibles of human nature, usually in a humorous or satiric way.” This is actually much more my type of poem, but I doubt any non-poets would know wtf I was talking about if I said I write senryu, so I’ll stick with the more common term haiku when explaining my daily obsession.

Another day on earth, and another haiku, my cool new project

"Another day on Earth" by James Dignan (photo via grutness.co.nz)

Another day on Earth” by James Dignan (image via grutness.co.nz)

Lately, I’ve been feeling like I haven’t been doing enough creative work. It has all been just work, and it’s burning me out. So I’ve been trying to read more of the blogs I find interesting, for inspiration. Most recently, my husband hooked me up with the super excellent Broke-Ass Stuart’s Goddamn Website, which—aside from having one of the best names in the world—has been introducing me to all manner of broke-ass creativity and reminding me that life is most definitely not about the money you make, but about the fun you can create for yourself.

I seriously heart Broke-Ass Stuart. He knows all the cool places in San Fran and NYC, plus he’s got some hilarious writers working that site. I mean, What Your Girl’s Male Celebrity Crushes Say About Them and, for the ladies, What Your Dude’s Female Celebrity Crushes Say About Them? Pure genius. Sample silliness:

There is an idea of a guy who likes Katie Holmes.  Though he can hide his cold gaze and you can shake his hand and feel his flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense that your lifestyles are probably comparable, he is Simply. Not. There.   Run while you still have the use of both your legs.

Anyway, Broke-Ass Stuart, in turn, turned me onto Lawrence Bonk (via his “Broke-Ass of the Week” section) of Another Day On Earth, a neat little blog where the author posts a song a day. Which has me thinking… what happened to that 500 words a day? What happened to doing anything for me, and my own creative intents, daily? Why do I always put it as the last item on my to-do list, devaluing my own desires, my own needs? Yeah, sure, I need to do my work. But work only extends from 9 to 5, and there are plenty more hours in the day.

I need to make a ___ a day commitment to my own work. And I think that it needs to be something small, so I will not feel intimidated about keeping it up, but not so easy to do that I can just coast. It needs to be something structured, because 500 words could be anything but, say, a haiku a day has to be something specific, a definite outcome, judged as done or not-done. Good or not-good. Success or failure. All or nothing, just like the Libra in me.

I’ve always been rather partial to the haiku. It’s just restrictive enough, with the 5–7-5 pattern, to impose order without being insanely hard to achieve (like, say, a sonnet). It’s creative. It’s poetry that need not rhyme, nor be cute. People can read them quickly and easily, without having to struggle to understand many concepts. They’re snapshots, for people who create pictures with words.

So, how about this: a haiku a day, based on a photo. The photo can be one I am inspired to shoot myself (adding an extra dimension of creativity), or a found photo. You can send me shots if you like. The photos may not inspire a direct haiku, but the photos are the creative prompt, so the haiku should not be something I conjured up previously (I know I have a few “angry haiku” somewhere on my hard drive, which I may share at some point).

The title of this post is my first haiku:

Another day on
Earth, and another haiku,
My cool new project

It may not be genius, but they’ll get better, I swear. In fact, I promise to think about my second haiku for more than 10 seconds before I post it.

For those that are interested, there’s a website called Haiku of the Day which does, in fact, post a new haiku every day (and is still being updated, unlike some other so-called daily haiku blogs), as well as DailyHaiku, whose former editor Mike Gravel once upon a time helped me judge a contest of dirty haiku poems for Black Heart. You should definitely check them out.

Want to point me to a photo that might inspire my daily haiku? You can mail me a direct link to anything that catches your fancy via my contact form, or link me in the comments section below!

And now, I leave you with Broke-Ass Stuart’s tagline and words of wisdom: You are young, broke and beautiful.

Virgo at Oysters & Chocolate

"Le baiser de l'hôtel de ville" by Robert Doisneau, 1950

Le baiser de l’hôtel de ville” by Robert Doisneau, 1950

My erotic astrological signs series starts today at Oysters & Chocolate with the first installment: Virgo!

That’s a bit of a mouthful. I need to come up with a title for this series. Maybe “Kiss My Astrology”? (Other suggestions welcome.)

O&C will be posting my new dirty astrologically-inspired short stories on a monthly basis, so check back around the 23rd each month to read new works. And if you’ve got anything you’d like to see for YOUR sign, feel free to write in with suggestions! Next month’s story, Libra, is already written, but you can still chime in on Scorpio for the October installment.

For another astrologically interesting take on life, the universe, and everything, be sure to check out Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology horoscopes. He’s definitely my favourite astrologist, since he leaves things open ended and always poses questions, rather than submitting ridiculous ideas about what’s going to happen to you this week, based on the alignment of the stars and/or planets. Here’s a direct link to Virgo, for all you “virgins” out there.