Tag Archives: copywriting

An open letter to President Obama re: firing your copywriter

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Dear Mr. President,

I appreciate getting emails from the President of the United States. I think it’s pretty cool that we have a President who is actually interested in representing the people he works for, and is always trying to find out what We The People really think.

But I have a quibble with the way you and your staff address me in these emails.

Recently, I received an email from “Barack Obama” (info@barackobama.com) with the subject line “Hey.”

I wish I were kidding.

Screenshot of the offending email; I can’t make this stuff up (click to embiggen)

At first I thought your message was spam and trashed it accordingly. Do you see how powerful subject lines can be, Mr. Obama?

Now, I’m not saying you can’t be a bit casual when you email me. I like a President who’s friendly, and something along the lines of “Howdy friend,” is fine by me as a greeting. But “Hey” as a subject line? That’s just… weird.

And really spammy/creepy.

So, nothing personal, but until your people hire a decent copywriter to fix this problem, Mr. Obama, I’m deleting all your emails unread. If they’re really important, and you really want me to read them, I’d suggest hiring some new copywriters, stat.

Might I suggest… someone like me? I’ve got experience writing newsletters, in case you’re interested, and I’m not that expensive, either. Feel free to message me back if you want to take me up on this offer; you’ve got my email, right?

Looking forward to another four years,
Laura Roberts

Six questions for me, and other writing lessons

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I was recently invited to sound off on the subject of literary magazines and being the editor of the web’s foremost literary rebellion, Black Heart. If you’ve been wondering how to score access to Black Heart’s hallowed ventricles, you should definitely check out the interview over at the Six Questions For… site. The piece is entitled “Six Questions for Laura Roberts, Editor, Black Heart Magazine,” and in case you haven’t noticed from my irregularly scheduled blog posts, will contain a modicum of cursing.

F-bombs aside, I have also written a cuss-free piece on the practical side of writing for the Professional Writers of Austin, entitled “How much does good writing cost?” It is by no means the definitive word on pricing your writing, but it does aim to give some tips and tricks to avoid feeling like you’ve been ripped off by your clients.

On a related note, I’d just like to give a shout-out to the potential client who wanted a “sample” of my copywriting before she hired me. I found this amusing, not only because copywriting is a profession in which no one writes on spec, and there are already quite a number of samples here on my website under the “Copywriting” section, but also because revisions are always included in my fee. If she didn’t like what I wrote, she could’ve had me switch it all around after I delivered the product. Twice!

I guess the moral of this story is that if you’re looking to hire me to write copy for your website, you should have a fairly firm idea in mind about what you actually want me to write. If you’re looking for catalog copy, I can go Payless or J. Peterman, but I need to know what your vibe is from the start so we can avoid conversations in which you ask me to write things for free because you don’t like my fees. (Which, by the way, are extremely reasonable, but will always be priced above zero as I like to do silly things like eat three meals a day and pay my rent; contact me if you’re tired of messing around and want to get down to business.)

Got a question for me about writing, either literary or corporate? Feel free to hit me up in the comments below!

5 writing books worth the price

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As someone who has gone to school to learn how to write (and graduated With Distinction), I have quite a collection of books that claim to teach people how to write. To some extent, anything that you read will help you become a better writer, as the old prof’s advice goes. Ultimately, you learn how to write better by writing, and by reading. But here are some books that I’ve enjoyed, in case you’re convinced you need more of a handbook or manual to push you in the right direction.

  1. How to Become A Famous Writer Before You’re Dead by Ariel Gore: Okay, so to be honest, this book is more about how to achieve success as a writer, which comes from public recognition of your work, but it’s definitely one of my favorites on the subject of writing. As I mentioned in my review of the book for Fiction Writers Review, it’s not a free ride, but it’s definitely within reach if you’re serious about success. And the advice Gore gives comes from a variety of perspectives, asking famous writers from all genres to explain their methods for achieving fame, if not fortune as well. If you’re at all DIY in your perspective, you’ll find this book incredibly helpful, because it’s not aimed at the traditional path of writing a book, getting an agent, getting signed by a big-deal publisher, and continuing to write bestsellers, Stephen King-style, for the rest of your life. There are alternatives, and Gore gives them in style.
  2. The Copywriting Scorecard for Bloggers by Darren Rowse (ProBlogger) and Glenn Murray (Divine Write): This is a brand-new e-book, published by the hugely popular ProBlogger, Darren Rowse, and it’s well worth the introductory price of $9.97 (which is going up to $29.97 after the first two weeks). The book is literally a checklist of items that you can use each time you post to your blog, with the intent of improving your writing as well as your hits and, ultimately, your sales. Yes, it’s a copywriting book, but as Darren and Glenn point out, writing for the web is a hybrid of copywriting and storytelling. How do you tackle this brave new world of blogging? Well, you probably ought to get advice from a dude who was able to quit his job and blog full time, don’t you think? You can score a copy from the ProBloger site. Click here to view more details.
  3. The Playwright’s Guidebook by Stuart Spencer: As I mentioned in my previous post, “Reading as Rx,” this is for all you writers out there. Yes, I know, it’s about playwriting specifically. But don’t scratch it off your list if you write short stories, novels or even poems. It’s essential reading for all writers looking to build dramatic stories, because it discusses Aristotle’s Poetics in a modern way. (If you don’t know wtf the Poetics are, and you’ve been through any type of creative courses in your life, then god help you, cus your teachers have all had their heads up their asses.) Plus, Spencer is incredibly well-read and peppers his pointers with references to well-known works you should have already read, thereby suggesting in a very subtle way that if you haven’t, you should, forthwith. Seriously, dudes, it’s a creative writing degree in a book, probably the only practical book I’ve saved from my own days as a university writing student, which I reference whenever I find myself in a jam, and it’s totally worth the $16 to get a copy. All the rest are, as they say in Philosophy circles, mere footnotes to Plato (who was Aristotle’s teacher).
  4. Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott: The subtitle of this oft-referenced and absolutely fantastic book is “Some Instructions on Writing and Life,” and Lamott delivers both in alternating funny and poignant ways. One of her best chapters is entitled “Shitty First Drafts,” and suggests that even perfectionists must abandon their ideas of perfection just to get something on paper. The shitty first draft can be thrown away or edited until it’s perfect. Either way, you still need to get that awful crap down on paper so you know what you’re trying to say and have something to work with. The book is great for people whose expectations of themselves are so high that they believe they must write ALL or NOTHING. Lamott has given herself permission to fail, and passes this wisdom along to the reader. Another great suggestion? Don’t EVER buy fancy notebooks; they will only make you feel pressured to avoid writing shitty first drafts in them. This is exactly why I love the ugly 25-cent notebooks with 60 pages in them. Mistakes must be made in defense of art, after all.
  5. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Getting Published by Sheree Bykofsky and Jennifer Basye Sander: Normally, I tend to avoid both the Dummies’ and Idiot’s Guides, perhaps more for the fact that I don’t like to view myself as either a Dummy or an Idiot. However, this book is legitimately worth purchasing, especially if you have questions about the traditional book publishing process and how to navigate it. Whether you’re wondering how to write a non-fiction book pitch or have a novel finished and want to know how (or if you should bother) to get an agent, this book’s got logical answers. There’s also a CD-ROM full of helpful documents and templates that you can use to craft your own queries, pitches and proposals. A great practical reference manual for the business side of writing.Got any books you turn to for writing, publishing or promotional advice?