Living in Austin, one of the perks (or downsides, depending on how you view traffic jams and industry insiders taking over your town) is being around for the annual SXSW festival. Having never been to this mega-fest in years past, and always looking on rather enviously, I’m now actually living at Ground Zero for some of the year’s big reveals in the music, film and tech industries.

In the words of Keanu Reeves: WHOA. (And also: DUDE!)

My husband is getting really excited about the music stuff, and has even started a website to profile some of the seemingly millions of kick-ass bands that will be here. We are both miffed by the amount of Canadian has-been bands on the roster (uh… Sum41, anyone?), but aside from that, it’s pretty exciting to know that lesser-known (yet TOTALLY AWESOME) experimental and avant-garde musicians like Zoë Keating are going to be here alongside heavyweights like Broken Social Scene and hometown heroes Spoon to play for an audience of appreciative geeks, nerds and industry insiders.

THE GOOD

I’m also pretty pumped for the film festival side of things, although the amount of “badge required” parties is annoying me at the moment. Obviously, I’m drawn to the “Midnighters” category, described on the official site as “Scary, funny, sexy, controversial – provocative after-dark features for night owls and the terminally curious.” (I mean, hello? Cannibal Girls?!) The Headliners Get Low (starring Bill Murray and Robert Duvall), Mr. Nice (starring my favorite wacky Welshman, Rhys Ifans), and The Runaways (Dakota Fanning in a Joan Jett biopic?! and directed by Floria Sigismondi??!??) are all on my Must-See list as well. And even though I really have no idea what connects barbershop quartets to punk rock, I am totally down with seeing interviews with my idols Henry Rollins and Janeane Garofalo in Barbershop Punk.

THE BAD

I am already convinced that Leaves of Grass (starring Edward Norton x2 as identical twin brothers and Richard Dreyfuss [?!] as a drug dealer [?!?] in Oklahoma [!!?!!]) is going to be a pretentious pile of wank. Prove me wrong, but you heard it here first: naming your film after an interminable Walt Whitman transcendental poem is really just too much.

THE FUGLY

Oh, and as for the fugly? I’ve never been able to make it through an entire Harmony Korine film, so Trash Humpers is on my list here. It’s not that I don’t think it’ll be entertaining or worth seeing, exactly. It’s just that Korine is one of those filmmakers that tends to rub me the wrong way. I guess that’s the point of everything he does, but his shock tactics doesn’t really rate with me. I don’t think art necessarily has to be beautiful to be worthwhile, but all doom and gloom all the time isn’t exactly honest, either, is it?

So yeah, SXSW is in the air, and I’m really hoping that the weather here in Austin clears the hell up before the fest gets started, because honestly? Snow in February is a big ol’ mood-killer for this gal, and you better believe no visitors to our fair city will stand for that white crap!

MORE HELPFUL HINTS

Still need a place to stay? I know a joint or two. Let me hook you up with $20 off a 6-day stay at the Extended Stay Hotels in the area. Hey, what’re friends for, yo? Besides, they’ve been spamming the hell outta me since I stayed two weeks with them, so I might as well return the favor…

SXSW runs from March 12-21, 2010. For more info on how to organize your personal SXSW to-do list, read Laura’s Gifted Travel piece here. Be sure to follow Laura on Twitter @originaloflaura to get up-to-the-minute info on all the latest parties, buzz and events!

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Dear Laura,

My name is Lisa and I would like to thank you for contacting the iTunes store. I understand that you would like to have the explicit version of “Fame Monster”. I can understand how upsetting it can be to pay for something that you did not want. Please know that getting a resolution for you is important to me and I will do everything that I can to resolve this issue.

Apple welcomes and appreciates your comments and suggestions. To ensure that all artists are treated fairly, Apple’s policy is not to censor artist content. All the content on the iTunes store is added in same format it is provided to us by the artist. You may wish to express your concerns to the artist’s record label.

I have reviewed the iTunes store, and unfortunately, I do not see any explicit content of this album. If you would like to have the item refunded, please don’t hesitate to reply and I will be happy to help.

You are a valued iTunes store customer. I hope you continue to make us your source for entertainment. Thank you for being a part of the iTunes community and have a great day.

Best Wishes in the New Year,

Lisa
iTunes Store Customer Support

Okay, so it looks like Apple is not the bad guy here, as Lisa clarifies that they aren’t doing the censoring. Rather, Interscope (Lady Gaga’s label) has somehow decided to bleep out the “fuck”s and “bitch”es, for reasons unknown. The Fame wasn’t censored, but The Fame Monster is. Why? Who knows.

Of course, the rep then suggests contacting the record company, which is a fool’s errand. Basically, there’s no way to do this. Try going to the Interscope website if you don’t believe me. There are literally no links to any contact info, unless you want to join their Facebook fan page (as if!) or message them on Twitter @interscope.

So I’ve decided to keep pestering them on Twitter with questions about the censorship of their biggest artist, every day, until they release an unedited version.

FYI: I checked on Amazon and iTunes and even Lady Gaga’s website; there is no warning anywhere that indicates that these tunes have been sanitized, and apparently no one has a non-edited version. Obviously, fans are outraged by this. At first I thought maybe you had to buy the double disc to get the “real” version, but even peeps who’ve bought that version are reporting on Amazon that it’s been edited. Hell, even fans who bought physical CD copies and got ‘em signed by Gaga herself at an in-store even are saying their tunes are edited. WTF?!

I’ve also added @ladygaga to my Twitter friends and posted this tweet directly to her, hoping to get the inside scoop straight from the horse’s mouth:

As always, I’ll keep you posted as events progress!

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Fame Monster - censored by the iTunes Nazis

I recently purchased a copy of Lady Gaga’s latest album, The Fame Monster, because the Lady is a delightfully sexy tramp, and anything she does must be immediately snapped up. (Also, I was smitten by “Alejandro” and “Telephone” from the beginning.)

Upon listening to the iTunes versions of the songs, I got the impression that something was missing. It seemed to me that some of the words in some of the songs were being unceremoniously cut. Kind of like one of those badly-done “radio edits” of yore. Like in “Dance In the Dark,” the line would go “Baby, I’m a free bit.” I was pretty sure, as a writer, that the logical lyric was actually “Baby, I’m a free bitch.”

A quick once-over with the digital booklet that accompanied the songs (kind of a digital CD insert—remember those?) confirmed my suspicions.

No one censors Lady Gaga! Not on my watch, anyway. So I fired off this missive to Apple HQ:

I recently purchased Lady Gaga’s “Fame Monster” album, assuming that I–a 31-year-old woman–would be allowed to hear the full album cuts of these tracks. Unfortunately, it seems some of these songs have been ruthlessly “edited” (whether by iTunes or some well-meaning corporation, I’m not sure) to “sanitize” them so that they no longer contain “dirty” words like “bitch” and “fuck.”

Yes, it’s pretty obvious. The lyrics are right there in the digital booklet.

This, to me, is a total travesty. I don’t want to purchase artificially censored music. I want the real deal from iTunes. Otherwise, I might as well buy my music at Walmart!

Please let me know where I can find the FULL versions of the Fame Monster songs to replace the versions I currently own, as I would like to download them and replace the bastardized versions your company has supplied me. Oh, and I certainly expect these edited versions to be updated for free, and at Apple’s expense, since your company failed to warn consumers that these were “edited” versions.

Thanks,
Laura Roberts

I’ll let you know if I hear anything back from Apple or the peeps concerned with iTunes, but honestly, did they really think they could get away with this crap? I’m not really in favor of free-for-all swearing in music, but I think Lady Gaga is fairly restrained when it comes to gratuitous cussing, and she should definitely be allowed to say “fuck” or “bitch” where the situation warrants. She’s a free bitch, goddammit! The album is about monsters, for heaven’s sake. Let her say “we may have fucked up” in “Monster.” It makes no sense to remove the word entirely and leave that split-second of silence. We all know what’s implied. iTunes, you’ve left me speechless. You’ve left me speechless, so speechless! I’ll never love again!

What do you think? Should iTunes be allowed to censor music like this? Do you think Lady Gaga—or any other musician, for that matter—should be subjected to censorship in order to protect the “innocent”? Who qualifies as “innocent” these days, anyway? And aren’t people who have credit cards usually 18+, making them, oh, I dunno… adults—the kind of people who have usually heard a few dirty words in their lifetimes, and who have chosen to make this adult purchase anyway, despite the profanity contained therein? Basically: isn’t America supposed to be a free country, giving consumers the right to choose between the “dirty” and the “clean” versions, and shouldn’t there be a warning (or lack thereof) on every album to indicate the difference? I mean, what else was Tipper Gore good for if not the “Parental Advisory” label on all music?!

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