Button Tapper » Holidaze http://buttontapper.com Professional and creative writing by Laura Roberts Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:00:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 4th of July haiku http://buttontapper.com/2010/07/04/4th-of-july-haiku/ http://buttontapper.com/2010/07/04/4th-of-july-haiku/#comments Mon, 05 Jul 2010 02:03:03 +0000 Laura Roberts http://buttontapper.com/?p=2337 Normally I don’t like to share my haiku with my husband. It’s not that I’m afraid of his judgement, exactly. It’s more that the stuff scribbled in my personal notebooks is mostly just private. It hasn’t been edited, and it’s not publication-worthy, so why would I let someone else see it?

But this morning he said to me, “I liked the haiku in your notebook.” To which I replied suspiciously, “Which haiku?” I had forgotten I’d left the notebook open to a list I’d been making. There were, to my horror, two haiku on the opposite page. And he had read them.

“They were cute!” he said.

One was a kind of inside joke, commenting on a grocery list I’d started which he had hijacked with a note-to-self reminding him to get a friend’s email address. It read:

“Milk, lettuce, VLAD”
reads the list.
I wonder where one
can pick up a VLAD these days.

Fine. It’s silly, it made him laugh. But I still hadn’t really intended it for public consumption.

“I liked the one about Ned,” he added. I had been writing poems about our new kitten. Some of them were incredibly sappy, and I cringed.

Luckily it wasn’t one of the cheesy ones. This one read:

Moonlight Sonata
kitten soothed by foot odors—
tennis shoe, waiting.

Actually, in my original draft I’d written “wafting” as the last word. My husband was offended by the suggestion that his tennis shoes wafted, so I changed it to his interpretation of my terrible handwriting, which was waiting. I guess that’s a bit more mysterious and therefore better.

What do you think?

I wrote a few more about Ned. I don’t want to bore you with haiku about my cat, since that seems a bit Crazy Cat Lady, but this is pretty much my favorite:

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]]> http://buttontapper.com/2010/07/04/4th-of-july-haiku/feed/ 2 Surreal Valentine: Austin, TX http://buttontapper.com/2010/02/14/surreal-valentine-austin-tx/ http://buttontapper.com/2010/02/14/surreal-valentine-austin-tx/#comments Sun, 14 Feb 2010 16:29:01 +0000 Laura Roberts http://buttontapper.com/?p=1721 Let me just say, up front, that I have had words with Valentine’s Day in the past, and that it is well aware of my feelings on the subject, for all of the obvious—and not-so-obvious—reasons. However, seeing as the day is upon us and all must comment, whether in the Pro or Anti camps, I offer you a simple drawing that I think should sum things up nicely. I call it “Surreal Valentine: Austin, TX”:

"Surreal Valentine: Austin, TX" by Laura Roberts

This drawing was inspired by a sign on the side of the road that cracked me up, plus a little imagination and speculation as to what “Chotes” might actually mean. Yes, yes, it’s probably just someone’s last name, but as you can see, my mind is rather dirty. And also, I’ve been wondering lately wtf people actually do with their used sex toys, since you’re not really supposed to recycle hazardous materials (which includes anything that has, or has had, bodily fluids on it).

In any case, to paraphrase a Jon Stewart saying, I hope you enjoy this moment of Zen. You’re welcome. Oh, and Happy V-Day.

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]]> http://buttontapper.com/2010/02/14/surreal-valentine-austin-tx/feed/ 0 Christmas and giving unto others http://buttontapper.com/2009/12/20/christmas-and-giving-unto-others/ http://buttontapper.com/2009/12/20/christmas-and-giving-unto-others/#comments Sun, 20 Dec 2009 18:48:24 +0000 Laura Roberts http://buttontapper.com/?p=1112 The holiday season is upon us, and like a lot of you out there, I don’t have a ton of money to spend on gifts this year. Maybe you’ve also been passing the bell-ringers and donation slips at the grocery stores, wishing you could help out those less fortunate, but feeling like that one-buck donation isn’t really going to do much?

Here’s your chance to do something good—for free!

It’s really simple, and will help give struggling families something they really need, all year ’round: FOOD. Just click on the gizmo below to help me support hungry families this holiday season. For each e-greeting you send to friends and family—along with a bunch of neat holiday recipes—Kraft will donate 10 meals. This is a great way to show you care, just by clicking a few buttons and sending out the Christmukkah cards you probably forgot to send anyway. Let your family and friends know you care by sharing the love, the recipes, and the seasonal donations to worthy charities… and get ‘em to pass it on to THEIR friends!

If you’re feeling particularly giving, sign up for an account at SocialVibe and keep doing the little quizzes and activities to contribute even more money to this cause, or any other you prefer. They’ve got everything from HIV/AIDS charities to animal protection societies to causes that help prevent hunger and homelessness. It’s a cool social media site where everything you do gives a little bit back. It’s way better than a stupid Facebook quiz that’ll sell your info (and your friends’ info!) to a bunch of evil corporations, dudes, so check it out!

Oh, and if I don’t post before then: MERRY CHRISTMUKKAH! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! SEASONS GREETINGS! And all that jazz. Also, if you live in the U.S., definitely go download this free MP3 of Lady Gaga’s Xmas song, “Christmas Tree,” over at Amazon.com while you still can. Hilarity (and dancing) shall ensue. Consider it my Christmukkah gift to you for donating your precious time to my little charity cause. {{{LOVE!}}}


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