Today I’ve got a guest post on the subject of Sexy Witches from the author of the Urban Fantasy novel Karma, Donna Augustine. But first, here’s a bit about her new book.
People say karma’s a… well, you know. Personally, I don’t think I’m that bad. It’s not like I wanted this job. I wasn’t even in my right mind when I accepted it. Now, I’m surrounded by crazy coworkers like Lady Luck, who’s a bit of a tramp, and Murphy’s Law, who’s a bumbling oaf.
But the worst is Fate. He’s got a problem with transfers like myself and I have to see him constantly. It’s unavoidable, since we’re hunting the same man, my murderer.
An Excerpt from Karma
“I’m not sure I’m adequately suited for this position. Even for a month. I’m more of a ‘bygones be bygones’ kind of person. Don’t you need someone a bit more vengeful?”
He looked down at the file spread on his desk. “I would disagree. Your file said you would be an excellent candidate.”
“May I see that?” I asked, eying up said file on his desk. How much did Harold know about me? Everything? That was an uneasy feeling. Even the best of us had our secrets and even though I considered myself a decent human being, I didn’t think I fell into the saintly category.
The file didn’t look big enough for my entire life to be in it. It didn’t even look thick enough for a short story. Maybe just a highly edited Wiki version?
“No, absolutely not.” He shut the manila folder quickly, as if I were going to jump up and try to peek. The guy took neurotic to a whole other level.
Okay, the file wasn’t that important. I needed to keep the peace and simply explain in better detail how I’d made an error in judgment. Be nice. My southern mother had always said you caught more bees with honey than vinegar. She had tried to drill it into my head since I was a small child. It wasn’t something I’d come naturally to, that was for sure, but it was a valid tactic, even if that wasn’t the lesson my mother had meant to instill.
“Harold, when I agreed to work for you, I was under the duress of seeing my dead body. You can understand how jarring that can be, right? I wasn’t thinking clearly at all.” It sounded logical enough to me, but I wasn’t sure if he’d ever had the pleasure of dying and his manner didn’t scream naturally empathetic.
He cleared his throat and I could tell by the set of his mouth that I wouldn’t like the next words. “I’m sorry, but that’s not how things work here. Like I told you, there’s a mandatory one-month trial period. An active one-month.”
He leaned back in his chair and pushed his glasses up closer to his face. His almost black eyes, artificially enlarged from the lens, stared at me in a bit of an awkward way. I wasn’t sure if there was a bite to follow up his bark but his magnified beady gaze sure made the situation less than desirable.
Still, beady gaze and all, I had to try one last time. Perhaps a different angle. Regardless of my record, he clearly thought I was an idiot; maybe that was the way to go. I had no problem playing a stooge if it got me out of here quickly.
“As you stated, I’m a transfer. You really don’t want me. I’m a horribly slow learner. The mistakes I’ve made in my life, geesh, you’d squirm if you knew.” I twirled a finger in my hair for effect and wished I had some chewing gum to smack.
“Yes, I’m well aware.”
He was? Hey, wait a minute; I didn’t think I’d done too badly for myself. What were these jerks writing about me in that file?
“Fate will help you with that.”
And just like that, I had bigger problems. I wasn’t just stuck here; I was stuck with him. “The guy who helped me so far?”
“It has to be him.” Harold threw his hands in the air, as if why am I bothering him? Not his orders.
“Then I’ll work alone.”
I’d be clueless but peaceful. There was something wrong about that guy. There was something too bossy or too intense. I couldn’t even describe exactly what it was about him that was too much, but it was.
Even the brief moment I’d actually been in my right mind around him, it was as if his presence exerted some sort of gravitational pull, stronger than a normal person’s. As if his intensity could throw me out of orbit. And I didn’t want to go out of orbit. I had enough things to handle besides ping ponging around.
“Non-negotiable. I’ve got orders.” Harold folded his hands and rested them atop his desk, littered with paper.
“From who exactly?”
“The universe.” His chin notched up a hair.
“Would it be possible to speak to this universe person? I’m sure they’ll understand that there is a personality conflict.” It was time to bump my complaint to upper management.
“No one speaks to the universe.”
“Then how do you know what to do?” I leaned in a little.
“Simple. Through my orders.” His eyes started to twitch.
“Which you get how?”
“Then you can send a memo to the universe. I won’t work with him.”
“I’ll file your complaint but it won’t matter. And don’t forget, as I’ve already explained, it has to be an active month.”
Twenty-five days. I’ve dealt with worse for longer. One case in particular came to mind. The guy actually tried to bite me when we lost. Harold didn’t seem inclined to bite and he didn’t get into my personal space. I could deal with him.
On the other hand, Fate looked like he might be the biting sort.
“Do the last five days count toward the thirty? Time served and all?”
“These first days were highly unpleasant. Do you think I could get extra credit for those? Maybe, I don’t know, you could knock off a day or two? Like they do in jail for good behavior?” He squinted his eyes and tilted his head. I was going to take that for a no.
Witches have been an intriguing topic for a very long time. There’s an obvious reason. A being who can call upon the forces of nature to do their bidding is just cool. And in every group, you’ve always got a few standouts. I’ve listed a few of my favorites below.
When you think of sexy witches, Dumbeldore might not be the first one to come to mind. First off, he’s technically a warlock. Second, he’s a little long in the tooth to be considered a sex symbol by most people. I think his age is one of the things that makes him so great. He’s got countless years of experience under his pointy hat.
Then there’s Glinda from The Wizard of Oz. She might have been the first witch I ever liked. I’m probably going to date myself here but every autumn I’d wait for The Wizard of Oz to come on TV. She was the epitome of what every good witch should be with her sparkly wand and pretty dress.
Now, no one can forget Samantha from Bewitched. As a writer, and fan of urban fantasy, she might have been one of the first examples of the genre on TV. She was such an unorthodox example at the time and was portrayed so perfectly. I remember watching her as a kid and being convinced that if I could just get my nose to twitch like hers, it would unlock all sorts of hidden powers. I can’t even get started on how much I wanted a black cat.
I guess my point is, witches come in every sort of variety and almost all of them are intriguing for their own reasons, but what makes a truly sexy witch? I’d got to say lots and lots of really cool powers.
About the Author
Donna Augustine’s lifelong ambition was to become the crazy cat lady. Unfortunately, when family allergies cut short her dream of living in a house full of furries, she turned her ambitions toward writing. Combining her love of fantasy, scifi, horror and romance, she tries to string together interesting twists on urban fantasy.
A native of New Jersey, when she isn’t writing, or overdosing on caffeine, she can occasionally be spotted in disguise at the local dog park.
Donna is giving away a $25 Amazon gift card and 5 ebook copies of Karma, via Rafflecopter.
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