Retro Perry Mason mysteries

cautiouscoquetteSo, I just finished reading the Perry Mason book I picked up for 25 cents at the Atwater Library’s book sale last week. The title of the book was Perry Mason Solves the Case of the Cautious Coquette, which naturally caught my eye, what with the coquettes and the alliteration. Here’s what I wrote about it for my GoodReads review:

The Case of the Cautious Coquette The Case of the Cautious Coquette by Erle Stanley Gardner

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Picked this one up for 25 cents at the Atwater Library’s book sale. Worth every penny! Especially for this exchange printed on the book’s back cover:

‘Could this letter,’ Mason asked Della Street, ‘have been written by the woman herself? I want to get the feminine angle.’

Della laughed. ‘There aren’t any feminine angles–they’re curves.’

Fast curves!”

Definitely has retro appeal, with its terminology like “frame-up” and “slick flimflams” and I think, at some point, someone must have referred to women in this book as “broads” (though it probably wasn’t Perry Mason, since he’s such a stand-up guy). Also, for future reference: I love the saying “What the deuce?”

A quick read, great for mystery lovers and Perry Mason fans (I must admit, I’ve never read any Perry Mason books before this one, nor even seen the TV show). Not the best mystery I’ve ever read, but definitely not the worst. Besides, it reminded me of all the silly “Cat Who…” books I used to read when I was a kid, and makes me want to try writing a mystery/detective novel of my own.

There’s just one more thing… why the deuce is Perry Mason, a lawyer, always getting mixed up in the crime-solving element of the case? It don’t add up. Thoughts?

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For reals, though: aren’t detectives supposed to be solving cases, not lawyers? I think Mr. Mason may be in the wrong line of work!

Anyway, like I said: the book makes me want to try my hand at a mystery of my own. This seems like the ultimate challenge, since you’d really have to know the plot all the way through and, I figure, start at the end and work backwards. For someone who usually likes to see what develops as she writes, this is the exact opposite of my writing style. Hence the challenge.

So… any mystery lovers out there? Got any advice for someone who’d like to write a mystery of her own? I’m digging the retro angle of this particular book (which I realize was not “retro” when it was written, but would be if imitated today), so I’m thinking something noir would be good. I just can’t find any dang Raymond Chandler books around here, which I think would help put me in the mood more, and give me that whole “learning from the best” perspective. Thoughts? Suggestions? Books to donate?

Virgo at Oysters & Chocolate

"Le baiser de l'hôtel de ville" by Robert Doisneau, 1950

Le baiser de l’hôtel de ville” by Robert Doisneau, 1950

My erotic astrological signs series starts today at Oysters & Chocolate with the first installment: Virgo!

That’s a bit of a mouthful. I need to come up with a title for this series. Maybe “Kiss My Astrology”? (Other suggestions welcome.)

O&C will be posting my new dirty astrologically-inspired short stories on a monthly basis, so check back around the 23rd each month to read new works. And if you’ve got anything you’d like to see for YOUR sign, feel free to write in with suggestions! Next month’s story, Libra, is already written, but you can still chime in on Scorpio for the October installment.

For another astrologically interesting take on life, the universe, and everything, be sure to check out Rob Brezsny’s Free Will Astrology horoscopes. He’s definitely my favourite astrologist, since he leaves things open ended and always poses questions, rather than submitting ridiculous ideas about what’s going to happen to you this week, based on the alignment of the stars and/or planets. Here’s a direct link to Virgo, for all you “virgins” out there.

Crazy contests galore

In the spirit of summertime (i.e. where the livin’s easy), I am posting links to a variety of crazy contests that may interest you. Some of them involve skill, others merely luck, but there’s a variety to appeal to different types of nerds and hipsters from across the board. Here are some of the most interesting ones I’ve come across lately:

"Summertime Version 2" by deviantart user noahlee

Summertime Version 2″ by deviantart user noahlee

  • Before These Summer Nights Are Gone — Montréal creative gang Indyish is giving away tickets to a show that benefits the Yellow Door’s The Elderly Project, this August 25 at the Sala Rossa. Performances by Brie Neilson, B.W. Brandes, James Finnerty, Whistlestop, Bent by Elephants, and even some good old-fashioned poetry readings will be involved. To win, all you have to do is write a comment on their blog about an elderly person in your life. Dare to share, dare to win!
  • Hint Fiction contest — As mentioned in my last post, there’s a cool Hint Fiction contest happening now at Robert Swartwood’s blog. Enter your hint fictional pieces for a chance to win a spot in his forthcoming anthology, published by W.W. Norton, plus payment of $25. Can’t beat $1 a word, now can you?
  • Brain Harvest Mega Challenge — Another interesting contest that may interest you is the Brain Harvest 2009 Mega Challenge. Can you un-trope a tired trope or cliché? Check out the list published by Strange Horizons, featuring “stories we’ve seen too often,” for some idea about the types of stuff they’re sick of seeing. Then, try to teach that old dog a brand-new trick for Brain Harvest. Winners receive $100, publication, a Fresh Eyes criticism on a piece up to 10,000 words long, plus a hand-knitted mustache! HOT!
  • Bartelby Snopes writing contest — Like writing dialogue? Like it so much you could write a piece using ONLY dialogue? Then you’ll want to check out the Bartelby Snopes contest for sure! Winners received a MINIMUM prize of $250 (the actual amount depends on the number of entries), so get cracking!
  • Broken Pencil summer party contest — The crazy indie peeps at Broken Pencil are sponsoring a contest for a party in Toronto that includes live music, hipsters, free beer, and (possibly) an albino. Dudes, wtf are you waiting for? Entry is a mere $10, you’ll get a subscription to BP whether you win or lose, and you could be listening to erotic poetry all night long, or heckling DJ Hemingway about his unusually literary name. What’s not to love?!

Those are the craziest contests I’ve seen in a while, but if you’ve got more to share, please feel free to post links to them in the comments section. Honestly, anything goes with the kids these days… and that’s a very good thing indeed!